The Card
by Cleo2010
Summary: After discovering fanfiction I had to write a June 10th story. This is mine. Jim is in Australia and Pam is getting ready for her wedding day with the camera crew in tow. Fluff.
1. Chapter 1

Jim was woken by the alarm in his Sydney hotel room. It was June 10th on the east coast of Australia but still June 9th in Scranton. It didn't matter, it still hurt worse than he imagined. He pulled the duvet cover over his head like it could shield images of Pam from his mind. All he could see was flashes of Pam and the moments they'd shared since he started working at Dunder Mifflin. He smiled at the memory of the first time they pulled a prank on Dwight.

It was a couple of days after he'd started working and he was all too aware of the sparkling engagement ring on her left hand. _It wouldn't hurt to be friends though. _He cringed as if that was the exact moment and the exact thought that led him to this place. That thought led him to walk to her desk while Dwight detailed exactly how to butcher a bear for its meat to no one in particular.

"Hey Pam?" he took a yellow jellybean and tried not to pull a face at the hideous banana flavour assaulting his tastebuds.

"Yes?" he watched her put the phone on to voice mail so she could give him her full attention.

He leant casually on the desk and lowered his voice. "How have you put up with Dwight for so long?"

"Therapy mostly, apparently I have masochistic tendencies." She said completely dead pan but her eyes were smiling. "I sometimes hide his chair in the stairwell if I get here early but I was worried he'd steal yours. You have the same kind now. I have chair envy." She stood up slightly, bit her bottom lip and looked at his chair like she lusted after it, he laughed as she flicked her eyes up to see if her joke had landed. It did.

"You can look but you can't touch, Miss Beesly." Their jokes fell into an instant rhythm.

"What a tease, seeing you luxuriating all day with all that lumbar support and up and down lever thing, it's torture." She giggled. "Hold on, weren't we talking about Dwight?"

"Yeah," he continued on with his train of thought and tried to ignore how flirty this conversation was but for the ring on her finger. "I wanna play a practical joke on him. Are you, um, interested in helping?" he raised his eyebrows in hope and wondered briefly for a second whether he'd made a huge misjudgement.

"Of course!" she leant in and whispered conspiratorially. "What's the plan?"

"That-a-girl. Here's what I'm thinking, I'm going to distract Dwight in the conference room with some 'I'm new here and you're so clever' type questions, appeal to his ego, that kinda thing. What I need you to do is collect up his bobbleheads-"

"-and swap the heads around?" she looked so excited and happy.

"Oh my god, are you in my head?" Jim cocked an eyebrow in jest.

"I dread to think what evil goes on inside that mind of yours and I've only just met you."

"Oh, this is just the beginning, Pam." He smiled back at her and they executed the plan flawlessly. That was the first complaint in the 'file in New York'.

Jim stared at the ceiling of his hotel room. _Just the beginning. How true that turned out to be. Shame it had to end._

He got out of bed and made his way to the shower in an attempt to beat jet lag, memories of Pam and enjoy his first full day in Sydney. He thought about the list of things he wanted to do, the Opera House, the Sydney Harbour Bridge, canoe in the bay and go to the beach. He slipped off his boxers and stepped into the steamy shower cubicle. He'd spent so much time thinking about Pam before work that it had become second nature to think about her as soon as the warm water touched his skin and impossible to fight back.

The images only served to torture him as she stood before him, gloriously smiling outside the church in a perfectly white wedding dress with her copper curls framing her porcelain features and powder pink lips. The lace up corset curved into her waist and rose up over her breasts enhancing her hour-glass figure normally hidden by her work blouses. The corset was adorned with pearls and crystals along the edge that met the soft skin of her chest that he ached to press his lips against. The full skirt draped gracefully to the ground and swayed in rhythm to her walk. Her veil floated behind her, caught in the summer breeze that his mind just created. It was the perfect dress, simple, elegant and magical. _Stop it, Jim, you can't have her. _He cursed under his breath and slammed the temperature from hot to cold and gritted his teeth as icy shards of water punished him for his thoughts. He braced himself against the tiles and forced the image out of his mind with the sheer discomfort of the cold and began his mental list of things to do.

He stepped out and dried his skin which had flushed with goose bumps. When he caught sight of himself in the mirror he hardly recognised himself. So sad, so hollow and so alone. _No. I can't do this. It's time for a fresh start. Snap out of it Jim. A new Jim Halpert is flying home; you've got to turn this around. _He brushed his teeth and slung on some comfortable clothes before heading out for his first Australian breakfast. Today he figured he'd just walk about, take in the sights and get the feel for the city. He'll buy a boomerang.

As he closed the door he allowed himself one more thought.

_I wish you were here Pam._


	2. Chapter 2

Pam sat nervously in the living room she and Roy shared as the camera as the crew set themselves up. She had the hair done is soft curls, her make-up was complete and she was wearing her wedding dress. Pam actually liked her dress because she had made it unique. It was plain satin strapless gown with a small train. Pam had sewn some crystals to the front to make it look more special; the clear crystals swirled down her bodice like a wide, sparkling ribbon. It had taken three nights of sowing to get it right but Pam knew it was worth the extra effort. The money saved on the dress went to the honeymoon anyway.

It was 12.00pm, just half an hour before she would be setting off to the church with her father beside her to be married to her high school sweetheart. The camera crew had been filming her and Roy all morning in exchange for doing a professional job on their wedding video. It was cheaper than getting a videographer and documentary style was in demand at the moment.

She watched patiently as the three person crew set up. The camera man, Alex, was the first member of the crew she had met on the very first day of filming at Dunder Mifflin. She remembered how awkward and shy he was in his tight jeans, black spiky hair and t-shirts featuring various bands which Pam had never heard of or would ever want to know. He was wearing a suit today for the occasion; Pam teased him that he looked like he was going to court. He smiled sweetly at her as he rushed to get the tripod set up.

The sound guy, Pedro, had been with the crew since the Dundies at Chili's. He'd gotten married the week earlier and he'd put back his honeymoon to film the wedding. He was dressed in the same linen suit he wore for his wedding but with a more sedate tie and his long black hair tied in a low ponytail. He greeted Pam warmly with two kisses when he saw her and hurried to get set up.

Pam's interviewer, Marcia was leafing through some notes on a clipboard and preparing her questions and the schedule for the day. She was also producer and director today. She was elegant like a ballerina with her blonde hair swept into a French pleat, Dwight could hardly form a sentence when he first met her but Angela put paid to that when she 'accidently' dropped a knife in the break room, just missing his big toe. Marcia had a way of getting people to talk; Pam swore that half the stupid things Michael would say in a day were to impress her. It didn't work.

Pam sat nervously and waited for the filming to begin. The room seemed tense, much more than it should have been on the happiest day of her life. Marcia got the nod from Alex and began. Marcia was smiling and upbeat.

"How do you feel?"

"Yeah, I'm really excited." She smiled, "I've been waiting for this day for soooo long. I mean it's been three years, a whole lot has happened since I said yes." She thought for a brief moment. "Well not that much really, I'm still working at Dunder Mifflin and I'm not an artist!" she only seemed to be half joking as a sadness flashed behind her eyes.

"What made you say yes to marrying Roy?"

"Wow, well, I was in love. He's the only guy I've ever," she coughs abruptly realising how much information she was revealing, "...I've loved. He can be very sweet, there was this one time, like, five years ago where he tried to cook me dinner and it was a complete disaster! He even tried to make a soufflé! Yeah, he's not really cooked since then, says he's no good at it, but he loves me and wants a nice, settled life, you know, security and all that good stuff for raising a family." She shifts in her dress slightly and then settles again.

"You'll be having children soon then?"

"Well, yeah, maybe. Roy's not given me a date but he says he wants kids so, um, yeah. He'll be a good dad." Her eyes darken slightly. "I don't know, maybe I'm not ready yet either." She rationalised, "I kinda wait on what..." she's looking down, fiddling with her engagement ring which now sits on her right hand, her left hand awaiting a wedding ring. "We haven't discussed it in a while." A heavy silence filled the room for just a few seconds but it felt like hours.

"What do _you_ want, Pam?" Marcia dark eyes changed from bright professionalism to concerned and worried. It felt like she wanted to reach out and hold Pam's hand.

"Me? I don't know." She shrugged. "What everyone wants. Marriage, children, a house with a terrace, to be loved and be in love. Someone who makes you smile when you don't think you can, someone who makes you laugh, someone who can turn your knees to jelly with a look, someone who's always there for you, someone... someone who really gets you. Someone you can talk to about anything." She saw Alex and Pedro's eyes meet and they shared a thought. Pam suddenly became irritated so she tersely responded, "And I have that with Roy." The words seemed angrier than she intended but she meant it. Marcia looked uncomfortable at upsetting Pam on this day of all days so reached into her pocket for a change of subject.

"Someone from Dunder Mifflin wanted us to give you this."

She handed Pam a letter. Her name was handwritten on the front. She mouth went dry. She licked her lips heavily as she slowly turned the envelope over and eased it open. She pulled out a congratulations card and looked at the picture. It was a generic summer wedding picture, a non-descript bride and groom under a pergola covered with roses in bloom. They looked happy with the bride's veil blowing in the breeze and their hands entwined. She opened it up. Her eyes filled up with tears and Alex zoomed in for a close up. A tear from each eye fell into the card before she snapped it shut and looked up, remembering once again where she was. Her hands were shaking and she had turned pale. "I-I." She looked around the room, her breathing was speeding up and she pulled at her dress trying to find room to breathe. "Oh god." She held her head in her hands just trying to focus on not throwing up as her panic attack took hold. "Oh god, oh god, oh god."

"Pam, what's wrong?"

"I can't. I can't do this." She was hyperventilating, "No, no, this is wrong, I've made a huge mistake, oh god." Her breathing was getting out of hand.

"Calm down Pam, what was in that card?" Marcia placed her hand on her satin covered knee. It felt thick and plush beneath her hand.

Pam lifted her head and revealed her red rimmed, puffy eyes and tear strewn cheeks. "I've got to go." She stood up and rushed out of the room with the crew following, Alex hadn't bothered to remove the tripod as they followed behind. They caught up with Pam as her father stood in the kitchen with a hot cup of tea.

"All done, Pamela?" he smiled before noticing her obvious distress. "What's wrong?"

She was talking so fast and still pulling at her dress for room to breathe. "I'm sorry Dad, I can't, I just can't. I'm so, so sorry." She ran up stairs and unzipped her dress sending swathes of fabric to the floor. She ripped off her wedding lingerie and pulled on her nicest matching pair of black lace underwear, a blue patterned summer skirt and a three quarter length scoop neck t-shirt in blue too. She grabbed a bag small enough to still be classed as hand luggage and began slinging clothes into it, all the nicest ones she had. She grabbed some essentials from her dresser and dashed back down stairs.

"Pamela, what on earth are you doing? Why have you taken off your dress?" Pam was smiling. Her father was not. The camera crew continued to film and watched in awe of the unfolding drama.

She tried to stand still as she spoke but she was rifling through her purse, taking things out and putting new things in, "I can't marry Roy, Dad. He's not The One. I've been too scared to admit it, too comfortable in this rut; we're not going to make each other happy Dad."

"I don't understand Pamela, you were so happy this morning, are you sure this isn't just cold feet? I should call your mother, she's on her way to the church already, she'll talk you through this." He fumbled for his cell phone but Pam placed her hand over his and stilled his efforts.

"I'm not changing my mind Dad, it's taken me far too long to make it up." She said calmly as she could. She glanced briefly at the camera and noticed Alex smiling. "I know this is going to hurt Roy but not as much if I go through with this." Pam started to scrawl out a note. "Please take this to him. Tell his family I'm sorry, I really am." She began to cry again. "I have to do this Dad, if not I'll regret it forever."

"Pamela, don't you love Roy?" His eyes looked so sad, he was losing someone in this too, he had known Roy for ten years.

"I did. Very much. But not now. Not anymore." She hugged her father tightly, her head against his collar bone, his arms wrapped around her. "I'm sorry Dad, I know how much you love Roy and how much money and time you contributed to this wedding but I need to be honest with you as well as with myself. For once."

"What? When haven't you been honest?"

"For a long time, Dad. Too long."

"I don't understand, what are you going to do, where are you going?" he was started to pace and become flustered.

"The airport."

"What!" He father ran a very stressed hand through his hair, "You need to tell Roy yourself, you owe him at least that." He was almost shouting now, she'd never seen him like that.

Pam mulled it over, she didn't want to disappoint her father but talking to Roy right now was the last thing she wanted to deal with. She conceded, "Ok, church first." Pam felt a wave of nausea override her excitement. She got in the wedding car with her father and they began the five minute journey to the church. The camera van followed behind.


	3. Chapter 3

They sat quietly in the car and the tension was palpable. Pam held onto the chain around her neck like a security blanket but it reminded her of Roy too much. She tried to keep her hands relaxed in her lap and bit her lip instead.

"Is there someone else?" asked her father staring straight ahead.

"No, I'm making this decision based on me and Roy Dad, no one else. There are a lot of reasons, a lot of compromises, I'm just wilting away, there's so much more I want to be and Roy..." she sighed "Roy can't support me in that, he doesn't care in that way. I'm not happy, the last month has been a trial, I just didn't realise why I put up with it for so long."

"Why did you put up with it, darling?" his tone had softened somewhat but he was still desperate to understand. He'd slowed down to give them more time and was holding up traffic.

"Because I was happy with other things in my life, I was just putting up with the little annoyances, the sacrifices and the lost dreams because there were times when I was happy. Those times were when I was at work, not with Roy. He was an important part of my life, but we're going to end up hating each other in five years. Maybe less."

"If he doesn't hate you after today." Pam's father let what he really thought slip out. Pam bit her bottom lip even harder and tried not to cry. "I'm sorry Pam. I didn't mean it like that. Why couldn't you have done this sooner? I just want you to be happy but this is not how it should be handled."

"I know I've messed up but everything is going to be ok, I'm so sure of it, for Roy too." She placed her hand on her father's wrist, not sure how he'll react. "I have to do this."

He let out a long breath; he knew the battle for his daughter's marriage was lost. "Ok."

They continued the rest of the trip in silence. When they got to the church Pam asked her father is he could collect Roy and bring him out to the car. She almost threw up in the two minutes he took. The camera crew slyly filmed from the front of the van.

Pam heard the crunching of feet on gravel as Roy, in full suit and tie, walked slowly to the car. He got in and closed the door.

"Pam, what's going on? Why aren't you dressed?" he was calm which only served to unnerve Pam. She took a deep breath and began to speak.

"I can't marry you Roy." His jaw clenched but he stayed silent. "I know I should have said this sooner but I only just realised it myself. We won't be happy together Roy." Her voice began breaking again, her eyes felt puffy and red, her heart ached.

"Please Pam, I'm happy, don't I make you happy?" his eyes were full of confusion as he looked to Pam for an answer. "I can try harder, you can go to those art classes you were talking about, I can drop you off and go sit in Poor Richards until you're done. You want children, we can have kids-" his tone was getting desperate.

"I'm sorry Roy, I really, really am." She was crying freely now. "I just can't do this, not now, not ever." She trailed off at the end as if that might lessen the sting.

Roy slammed his fists into the steering wheel causing Pam to jump and stiffen. "Are you cheating on me?" he stared straight ahead and clenched the steering wheel.

"No, never Roy." She kept her tone strong, ignoring the kiss she'd never spoken about.

"Then why, what changed? What the _hell _is happening?" he raged.

"We've both changed, we're not a good fit anymore, we're just together out of habit. We stopped trying a long time ago." The words rang true; she could see it in his eyes.

"I don't understand you Pam, is this because of the art thing Jan offered you? If you want it that badly you can go, I don't care." He said the words like that's all she'd wanted to hear to change her mind but it only made her more resolute.

"I want someone who _does_ care Roy, not someone who can put up with my choices but support them."

"Dammit Pam. Why today? How could you do this to me?" She didn't answer. His eyes were becoming red rimmed she couldn't look at him. The silence seemed to drag on forever as Pam held her sobs. "Can we just postpone and work on things?"

Pam forced herself to make eye contact. "I'm sorry Roy, it's really over."

"How could you humiliate me like this Pam! How can you be so damn selfish!" he yelled, Pam shrank back like she deserved it. The car felt very small all of a sudden.

"I never intended for this to happen. I'm not doing this on purpose but getting married today would be the biggest mistake of both our lives."

"Don't you love me Pam?" He asked. Pam stared out the window too frightened to deal the final blow. "Look at me Pam, please, tell me you don't love me anymore and I'll leave." He spoke like he was about to solve the whole problem, that he believed she still loved him. Pam's stomach turned.

She could barely move but somehow her head turned. She locked eyes with his, they were red and pleading, she noticed his hands were shaking. "I don't love you, Roy."

He got out of the car and slammed the door behind him. She watched him walk behind the church before breaking down in tears. She sobbed until her throat hurt so much she couldn't stop coughing. When she could finally open her eyes she looked upwards to the bright blue sky littered with small puffs of glorious white clouds. She felt the heat through the windscreen and she felt calm. Finally, she'd done the right thing for all the hurt it caused. She closed her eyes and saw an image of a person in front of her. She slipped off her engagement ring and placed it in the coin holder with a little clink on gold on coins. Then she undid the necklace Roy had given her as her first present and placed that with the ring. She got out of the car and walked around to the camera van and their driver, Glen.

"I need a ride."


	4. Chapter 4

Pam and the film crew were squashed into the back of the van as it sped off to the airport. She still felt sick after the conversation with Roy but felt lighter than she had in years. There was no more room for regret now, those days are over, she had to seize this moment and not look back. She couldn't hide anymore. In her moment of reflection she found a piece of paper being placed into her hand by shy Alex. When she looked down and opened it up she found two addresses written down. "It's the two hotels he's staying in. One in Sydney and one on the coast near the barrier reef, he won't be there for another few days but, you know, _plans change_." Everyone in the van grinned at this last comment and Pam jokingly rolled her eyes.

"Thank you, I can't believe he gave this to you." She placed the piece of paper inside the congratulations card and placed it next to her passport.

"Oh he didn't. We were making calls while you were... busy just now." Alex fidgeted uncomfortably while Pam looked down at her feet slightly guilty.

"I know my timing could have been better but I need to do this for-" she was cut off before she could finish but an excited Marcia

"Hey Pam, you don't need to convince us, we've been waiting for you to do the right thing for ages, since we turned up really."

"Really? Was it that obvious?" She wiped away an escaped tear. She felt safe surrounded by people supporting her. It tore her up to think about many people were angry at her right now.

"Kinda obvious." Everyone nodded, still smiling that they happened to be participants in the story rather than observers.

"I just can't leave it any longer. I should stay and sort out the apartment, sending back the gifts and dealing with all the fallout but I need to see him. I need to see Jim."

"Oh my gosh!" Marcia was practically bouncing in her seat.

"What are you going to say?" asked Pedro.

"Aren't you mad that I made you postpone your honeymoon? I mean, they made you work today for this."

"Nah, the honeymoon coincides with my niece's birthday, she was too young to fly out here so it's all worked out. Come on, what are you going to say when you see him?"

"I'm not sure. I mean, I have an idea, but I'll figure it out on the plane. Oh my god, I've never left the country before and now I'm going to Australia on a moments notice. I must be mad." Pam rubbed her forehead like she was getting a headache.

"No, just in love." Said Alex quietly, earning himself a playful punch in the arm from Marcia. Pam smiled and blushed as another image of Jim appeared in her mind's eye.

"You have your passport?" asked Marcia, ever efficient.

"Yep. Just need tickets and a toothbrush from the airport."

"So what happened, what made you change your mind, sweetie?"

Pam smiled to herself. "One day I'll tell you the whole story, right now I just want to see if I haven't left it too late."

* * *

**Double upload today because this chapter is quite short. I also wanted to get past all the Roy stuff so we can focus on Jim and Pam from now on! Hope you're enjoying the more slowburning storyline**.


	5. Chapter 5

Jim sat in the hotel bar after an exhausting but exhilarating day walking round Sydney. He didn't think that anything would take his mind off Pam for the next day or so but the sights and sounds of being somewhere so vibrant and different managed to keep his brain occupied. There were moments he thought of her, especially when he first saw the harbour bridge and the opera house, he imagined how much Pam would want to draw that scene, maybe with Jim sat as a small figure in the foreground, just admiring the amazing view. It was hard not to see her in everything but he was trying like his life depended on it. Sometimes he felt like that was truer than he could ever imagine.

He ordered another drink and stared into the liquid amber he rarely drank. He tapped his fingernail on the side and watched as the surface of the water rippled slightly.

"You know there are better instruments to play than your drink. Also ones that are slightly less annoying." Spoke a female Australian voice behind him. Jim turned and found a woman only a little shorter and a little younger than he was with long black hair that stretched down to her waist. Her skin was tanned and her eyes were a milky shade of brown. He sat up straight to reply and realised how much he must have been slumped over. He expect her to be annoyed but she was smiling as she took a seat next to him.

"Well they were all sold out of didgeridoos so..." he flashed the best smile he could despite his grey mood and was pleased for the company.

"Yeah, I guess we don't have the best musical reputation but we did give you Kylie so no complaints." She ordered a strong cocktail from the bar. "Is it bad to order a drink just because it looks pretty in the picture?"

"Yeah, you must be really shallow to judge a drink on how it looks." he pulled a face of faux judgement.

"Really, and what should I judge a drink on American boy?" she flicked her hair back and gave him an inquisitive smile.

"It's what's inside that counts." He picked up his drink and held it to the light, "In my case, it's all about alcohol content." She laughed and Jim smiled. At this moment he felt a little less alone. They were quiet for a moment until the dark haired woman was presented with her drink.

"Wow! That is a pretty drink, very girly, if it was a person it would be very blonde and very sparkly."

She laughed, "Not my type but..." she sipped, "...delicious none the less. Maybe I should try them more!" Jim cocked an eyebrow at the 'not-my-type' comment but offered his drink to clink.

"Cheers." They both drank again, Jim took a bigger gulp than he probably should have and it took his breath away slightly. He spluttered and coughed a bit.

"You ok? I'm Sarah by the way." She held out a hand to shake.

"Jim." He took her hand and shook it; she had really long fingers like she played the piano.

"So, where you from Jim?"

"Scranton, actually no, I'm moving as soon as I get back so I'm now from Stamford, Conneticut." His stomach turned as he was reminded of the reason he wasn't from Scranton anymore. "Are you from around here?"

"Yeah, I live and work in the city. I'm supposed to be meeting my sister who works here but she's probably fallen in love with another guest again, we moved here two years ago from Brisbane. "

"Wow, your move was much more exciting than mine, I bet your job is cool too."

"Yeah, it is actually! Come on, so why the alcohol content? Doesn't seem like you're use to it?" She leant one elbow on the bar and looked softly at him like she was really ready to listen.

"I am not having a good day, well, month really."

"You came to the bar to get away from it, to forget?"

"I came to Australia to forget about it." He watched as he swirled his drink around and took another gulp as Pam surfaced in his mind again.

"Wow, you're not a fugitive are you?"

He smiled and shook his head, "No. Definitely not a fugitive." He paused; she seemed to be letting him take a moment to think about how much he wanted to say. "My best friend is getting married in a few hours and... I'm in love with her, very much." He gulped hard and stared intently at his drink.

"Have you told her?"

"Yep."

"Ah." Sarah placed her hand on Jim's shoulder but he hardly felt it.

"Yeah."

"How are you coping?"

"Better than this morning actually, I just want this day to be over and for Pam to be happy but I can't watch her be happy, it's too hard, we work at the same place. That's why I'm moving."

"Yeah, that's pretty much torture. My ex ended up quitting a couple of months after we broke up. At first I missed her crazy mess of red curls bouncing around all day with all this energy, but when I found out why she quit I knew she'd tried to spare me the pain."

"She found someone else?"

"No, well, sort of, we broke up because I don't want kids and now she's pregnant." Sarah looked so sad as she told this perfect stranger her most intimate pain. "Three years we were together and within six months she's pregnant and happy without me. I wonder how much I ever meant, you know?" She smiled and took a drink. "I'm sorry, you're down in the dumps enough, I should be cheering you up." She tried a smile but it fell quickly.

"Misery loves company and your misery is right up there on the misery scale." Jokes were the only thing he could think of to console her, he knew that facing up to emotions wasn't something he did often, if at all.

"I guess I'm just one dead dog away from the American big leagues!" she tried to joke in return but Jim could tell it hurt.

"Let me buy you a drink that's beautiful on the inside, there's got to be a shot that's about 50% proof." Jim got the attention of the bartender and ordered their strongest shot.

"Only if you join me." She nudged his shoulder playfully.

"That's a deal."

The bartender poured them two shots of luminious blue liquid. They both stared at the drinks in awe.

"We should toast something." Sarah suggested.

"What should we toast?"

"To someone who's more pathetic than we are, there must be someone, someone who makes you feel good because their life is just awful and you wouldn't want to be them." Jim thought for a moment then raised his glass.

"To Michael Scott!"

"Who?"

"Drink, and I'll explain just the edited highlights of one Michael Gary Scott, regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Scranton."

"You work for a place called Dunder Mifflin? That has to be the worst brand name I've ever heard, what is it?"

"We sell... um, things. Exciting things." He bluffed, making her guess. "Come on, you're delaying the inevitable. To Michael Scott!"

"To Michael Scott!" they both down their drinks and emerged coughing, spluttering and gasping for air.

"Holy Shrute, I think we just drank gasoline and lava." Jim spluttered.

"Yup, I think I'm either gonna die or throw up that lava, which is a worse fate?"

"It's fifty-fifty."

"One more please." Requested Sarah sweetly. Their drink were filled and they raised another toast.

"Who's in your life will you toast?"

"Oh my gosh, it has to be my high school science teacher, he's forty-five and still thinks his band is going to be discovered! Lives with his brother in a one bed apartment and I'm pretty sure his last relationship left with some STD."

"That's just so wrong."

"To Nick Forrester and his penis!"

"Nick Forrester and... yeah!" They downed them both and they both fell about laughing as they spluttered and coughed for a second time. "Doesn't get easier, does it?" Their reverie was  
interrupted by the young bartender.

"We're closing in half an hour guys, last drink?"

"Another blue thing!" Shouted Sarah, almost throwing herself off her chair in excitement.

"No!" She held on to Jim arm to steady herself and he fondly remembered the Dundies from a year ago. Although Sarah was very different to Pam, he somehow felt he'd gotten to know and like her.

"I'd like a pretty drink though." She grabbed the cocktail menu and ordered a tequila sunrise. "Jen was red head, well, brown, but in the sun it turned red. She was so beautiful, this drink looks like her."

"I'll join you then." Jim didn't say how much he loved Pam's copper curls and how much he thought about her when the sun rose every weekday morning. Maybe this drink was Pam too.

They sat sipping their drinks and continued talking as people slowly filtered out and the staff went through their usual night time routine. Jim regaled her with tales of the office which Sarah was sure he was exaggerating. He told her about Michael's crush on the temp, how he ended up handcuffed during one of the company excursions and the time he cooked his own foot. In return she told him about the tragic high-school science teacher with dubious life goals.

"You're really going to miss that boss when you've had a boring one for a while, who knew selling paper could be so exciting."

"You would make a great saleswoman for a third-rate, failing, paper supplier in Pennsylvania, there is a vacancy. How could you turn down such an opportunity?"

"Easy, I work at the Opera House."

Jim raised his eyebrows and his jaw fell open, "Really?"

"Yup, I'm part of a small team that organise events for children, trips, summer activities, education, workshops, all that kinda kit. It's just brilliant work."

"Can you get me a job?" he joked.

"Ha! Maybe, how's your knowledge of opera and theatre?"

"I'll learn, hell, I've learnt everything there is to know about paper quick enough. Ok, there's not that much to learn."

"Would you like a behind the scenes tour? I'm free the day after tomorrow for the whole morning, I can show you round and give you the inside scoop."

"Oh my god, I would love that! Thanks so much, Sarah." This is the kind of thing he needed to look forward to, new people and new experiences.

"Anything to see you smile, I feel like we're kindred spirits tonight." She put her hand on Jim's and gave it a squeeze.

"Yeah, me too."

Sarah looked at her watch, "I should get going, I've got work tomorrow." She genuinely looked disappointed.

"I'm so glad you came in here tonight, I really didn't know how I was going to... well, not think about Pam all the time."

"Are you going to be ok until 4am?"

"Yeah," Jim looked unconvincingly at his feet as his stomach tied in an enormous knot, "I'm still jetlagged, maybe I'll fall asleep."

"Do you want me to come up?"

"What?"

"I mean, just to talk, I know if Jen was in labour right now I'd just want someone to sit it out with me, see what it's like when your world has changed forever but you're still ok. Like nothing physical has happened, but things will never be the same again." That summed up how Jim felt, his whole world was changing.

"I have decaf coffee in my room, if you'd like." Jim rubbed the back of his neck nervously, he really wasn't ready to be alone yet and having Sarah around was a comfort.

"Yeah, I'd like that." Sarah took Jim's arm and gave it an affectionate squeeze. They rode up in the lift to the fourth floor and entered Jim's room. "You know you'll be ok, Jim, there's a future for you."

"For you too Sarah, I'm so sorry the way the last six months have been for you, you deserve some luck."

"If it could come in the form of lottery tickets that would be great." She idly picked up Jim's boomerang, "God, you Americans are such tourists!"

"I dare you to go to Scranton and not come back with mounted lump of coal from the coal mine!" Sarah snorted and hopped on the bed.

Jim picked up his cell phone and switched it on briefly to collect messages. It wouldn't connect to a local network. It was gone 2am and he suddenly felt very far from home.

"I just can't believe that it's really over, you know, there's this evil voice inside of me that is creating all these ways it'll work out and, and we'll be together, I just can't imagine anyone else but Pam being the person I... damnit, I was doing so well and now I can't stop going over it again."

"It's ok Jim, maybe all the distractions tonight was causing you to bottle it up."

"I just can't get my head round not getting to hold her, to kiss her, I want to sleep beside her and wake up next to her, I want to watch her draw and see how many different ways I can make her smile. I can't comprehend that it'll never happen." Jim's voice broke and his eyes began to redden. "I love her so much, and she'll never..." Sarah stood up and held him as he released everything he felt, the hurt and the loss. His voice was muffled in her shoulder. "She kissed me back, I know she feels something. That's what's killing me..." His tears began to flow against his will but encouraged by the kindness of the woman holding him. Sarah guided him to the bed and they lay next to each other. Sarah let him lay his head on his shoulder as he finally let himself be overwhelmed. An hour later Jim felt a strange calm and quietness replaced the sudden flood of pain. He felt empty but without feeling hollow like he sometimes did. It was a moment of clarity, he felt like he might actually survive this. Soon Jim fell asleep and 4am came and went.

...

If Jim's phone had connected, he would have found sixty-five text messages waiting for him. Twenty of them were from Kelly.

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**Long Jim chapter there but I wanted him to make a friend and not be a complete wreck. He's not that in touch with his feelings so Sarah's given him a push. I like that during this night, Pam made the decision to call off the wedding and go to him. His life has changed but he doesn't quite know how yet, it's certainly not how he's thinking. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and we'll be back checking in with Pam's progress in the next chapter!  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Could this be? Cleo has updated The Card? Why yes it is true! I wanna thank everyone who's reviewed this story and encouraged me to keep writing. I identified what I was struggling with and started writing again. Thanks again everyone, I hope you enjoy, we're back with Pam but plenty of flashback Jim to keep us going. **

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"Twenty four hours?"

"More like twenty four and a half, you have a three hour lay-over in San Francisco." Explained the perky girl at the check-in desk. "Will you be paying by cash or card?"

"Card." Pam's heart sunk. It was going to be at least another day before she'd see Jim. She'd never spent that much time on an aeroplane either.

"That'll be $3,945.54."

"What? Are you kidding? I-I don't have enough credit." Pam's eyes stung with tears as she racked her brain for ways to spontaneously create more money in the next few moments. Her bank account was in debt due to the wedding and there was already $1,200 worth of charges on her $3,000 limit Visa.

Marcia ran up to Pam at the desk with her bag with Pedro not trailing far behind. "All set?"

"Um, no, the ticket is nearly $4,000." She couldn't look in Marcia's eyes knowing that would send the prickling behind her eyes into full blown tears.

"Don't worry hun, that's what expense accounts are for!" She grabbed her handbag and pulled out the credit card the production agency gave her.

"Are you sure you're allowed to do that?" Pam wasn't sure whether to question it; she just wanted to get the ticket.

"The 'Jim/Pam Moment' is worth more than four G's to them. You might have to agree to an interview with an Aussie crew out there, Jim's doing a piece in a week in exchange for a little spending money and so we'd leave him alone out there, during, you know, today. Will you do the piece?"

"Of course! I just need to get out there! Thank you!" She hugged her friend and cried tears of joy into her green silk dress. "I'll do anything!"

"Careful." She passed the card over to the still unbelievably perky check-in girl. "Or we might come with you!" She leant in and whispered, "I'm gonna tell my boss there were no more seats, he would want us to go with you but you need to do this without a shadow."

"Thank you, Marcia. I don't know what to say." Pam was truly grateful.

The perky girl at the desk handed Pam her ticket, "Here you go ma'am, your flight leaves in two hours so you better head straight for security because it's always busy."

"Thanks." She grabbed the open return ticket and found a place to talk to Marcia and Pedro.

"Oh you need to get going!" Marcia gave Pam another warm embrace.

"All set?" asked Pedro, he looked just as anxious.

"Yep, but the flight is over twenty-four hours long, it's going to be torture." She wrung her fingers through her hands nervously.

"Wow," said Pedro, "He really does love you if he needed to get that far away from you!" Marcia shot Pedro a filthy look as Pam turned her head to the side to compose herself from breaking down over the sudden rise of guilt.

"I really need to go, security can take ages and this is the last flight today."

"Ok sweetie." Marcia hugged her tightly. "Go get your boy." Her eyes were full of happy tears.

"Oh god you're going to set me off again!" said Pam with her eyes rapidly filling.

"Tell Jim we said hi, he owes us one hell of a piece to camera and about fifteen rounds of drinks." He gave Pam a goodbye hug. "Travel safe."

"I will. Oh god I can't believe I'm doing this. I better go!" Pam turned and started to walk to security. Her heart was pounding with excitement and nerves.

"Send us a postcard!" Marcia shouted as she disappeared into the crowd.

Pam followed the signs for security and began to prepare by taking off her shoes. She was on her own now and about to travel across the globe to tell the man she loved how she felt.

_You can do this Pam._

As she stood in the queue for security her mind wandered to another queue she found herself in once...

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam." It was just another Wednesday morning three years ago.

"It's Jonas from security, I'm filling in for Hank, um, there's a guy here trying to give away pretzels, he says you'll vouch for him." Pam's eyes were wide at the information she'd just received, an early warning that pretzel day had arrived. What should she do with this information? Be the legendary First? Tell Stanley and have him owe her a thousand favours? Or...

"Sure, I'll be right down." She hung up and quickly dialled Jim.

"Don't let on it's me that's talking." She whispered.

"Uh, hi Humbers Manufacturing, what can I do for you?" He stuttered awkwardly.

"You're a terrible, terrible actor."

"I'm sorry we don't stock that here." He replied with a little teasing attitude but not enough to alert Dwight who was busy on a call.

"You mean you don't stock talent?" She teased, taking a quick sneaky look at his wry smile. They'd been as thick as thieves for little over six months now.

"Exactly. Is there anything else I can interest you in?"

"Yeah, this is the most important day of the year and I'm giving you privileged access, there is nothing more special than today in the Dunder Mifflin calendar."

"I think I can agree to that but I need a little more information."

"I need you to come downstairs now. I'll wait by the elevator for you."

"Of course, I just need to check with the warehouse and I'll call you back."

"I think you're getting better at the acting thing."

"Thanks, speak soon."

Days had never been this fun without Jim. She'd started looking forward to work, taking an interest in more things so she could talk to Jim about them. She felt happier than she'd been in a while, she'd just never knew she'd felt so grey before.

When they got downstairs Pam vouched for the pretzel guy and they helped him set up.

"Free pretzels are the most important thing on the Dunder Mifflin calendar?" Jim asked sardonically.

"You have no idea Jim, I'll let you announce it to the office, just don't stand between them and the door." Pam thought back to last year and how one of the old accountants sprained his  
wrists after Stanley barged past him.

The pretzel oven was set up and Jim and Pam stood in a queue of their own before a couple of the lower floor people joined behind them.

"I can't believe I'm going to be The First." Pam hopped from one foot to another with sheer excitment with a huge smile on her face. Of course Jim let her be in front of him as her chocolate cinnamon pretzel baked next to Jim's classic salted.

"The first to get a pretzel?" Jim was still incredulous.

"The First with a capital T and a capital F. This is the Scranton Business Park dream."

"Yeah, ok, little miss cinnamon." He teased.

"She's right." Piped up the guy behind Jim, "Everyone wants to be The First, people have waited in line for four hours for a free pretzel. This is the nearest I've ever been to being first. I'm third!" He grinned manically.

"Wow." Was the only response Jim could muster, still confused at the excitement.

"You know Michael slept in the building over night once trying to be The First. He slept right over there by the ficas tree. He slept while people queued for an hour and then woke up screaming. Phyllis dropped her pretzel and almost hit him!" she giggled.

"Why'd he wake up screaming?"

"Chased by a giant pretzel?" She guessed and gave a shrug.

"A pretzel that had the voice of Jan."

"Or his mother!"

"I've got a feeling that if we ever meet her she'll explain a lot."

"I can't even begin to imagine." She shuddered. "So you're a 'nurture over nature' person?"

"People like Michael are created, not born, definitely." They both laughed, lost in their little world away from the prying eyes of the office. As more people filtered in the entrance way became more cramped pushing Jim closer to Pam.

"Sorry." She said as she bumped up against his hip with her arm. He didn't reply, just gave her a shy half smile, a little lost for words. As good friends as they'd become, they didn't touch a lot. Maybe that's why she noticed the touch, because it was rare. She was eventually proven otherwise. Before she could think anymore her huge pretzel arrived. "You're about to experience pretzel perfection Jim." It was still hot through the grease paper. "And it's for _free_."

Jim took his. "Wanna eat outside?"

"It'll be much more fun if we go upstairs."

When they were spotted walking in with pretzels there was a near stampede to the door. Jim grabbed Pam's arm to pull her out the way of a fast marching Stanley with a wild look in his eye. She knew then he didn't have to hold on to her arm as long as he did but she brushed it aside in her mind, she was good at doing that. Too good.

"Jesus, you weren't kidding!" Jim said in shock and snapping Pam back into reality now he was no longer holding her. The office was empty. "I didn't think Stanley could move that fast. Ever."

"I think you just saved my life."

"Worth it, you know, for a pretzel hook up this good. Oh man, this is awesome." The sat in the break room and ate together, still laughing as Pam detailed more pretzel days past and theorised about future pretzel days where they ran out just as they got to Stanley or Michael accidently knocks the oven a sets the whole building on fire. It was one of her favourite days at Dunder Mifflin.

It only just occurred to her that she could have rung Roy that day.


	7. Chapter 7

**Another chapter and we're back with Jim. **

**This is a (heavily) reworked chapter and the next one is still to be written so the next update will probably be in a day or two. I know what I'm going to write, I just want to get the tone right. **

**Enjoy!**

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Jim woke up late the next morning. His head was pounding and the air conditioning sounded like it was grinding through glass. "Oh... ow..." he rolled out of bed and reached for a bottle of water from the mini-bar and an aspirin from his bag. The curtains were mercifully blocking out most of the morning light as he crawled back into the surprisingly comfortable bed for another hours sleep. He heard paper crumple loudly as he got back under the covers and found a note. "Sarah." He remembered lying next to her as he fell asleep last night completely overwhelmed with exhaustion, alcohol and Pam. Her smell of suntan lotion mixed with his hung in the sheets.

_Morning American Boy,_

_Hope you're not dead. I think I am. Don't think I'll be drinking that blue stuff ever again. I had to go to work but I hope you're ok. If you still want a tour of the Opera House I'll see you downstairs at 8.30am tomorrow morning so no drinking like last night! My mobile number is on the other side of this note. _

_See you soon, Sarah_

"Nice girl." Jim said aloud. Their friendship had come about so randomly but he was so grateful to have met Sarah last night. He listened as she spoke about Jen, she listened as he spoke about Pam. Both of them were mourning the love they lost because they both loved someone else. In Pam's case it was Roy, in Jen's case it was a baby. He placed the note on his bedside table and closed his eyes.

_It's over. She's married. _

He wasn't sure, but he thought he just might be ok.

After a few hours more rest to sleep off the worst of his hangover he head out brightly into the midday sun. He walked round and found a place serving soft shell crab. He figured he'd have lunch now his stomach had settled and then go book a trip to walk over Sydney Harbour Bridge and perhaps go check out the beach as it had been the warmest day yet for an Australian winter.

That's when he saw her on the opposite side of the street. He could only see the back of her but he'd know those tumbling curls and shy walk anywhere. She seemed to be looking which way to go but the crowd was bumping into her. _Oh my god, that's Pam. _He ran across the street without looking and cursed as a car screeched to a halt a little too late knocking him clean to the ground. His palms scraped took the brunt of the impact and his knee clattered into the tarmac but mostly he was okay, his mind focused only on finding Pam in the crowd. It took Jim a second to realise the driver was shouting at him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Yelled the irate Australian out the window.

"Sorry, sorry." He jumped back up limping slightly and tried to find her again. _Shit, where is she. _

"You damaged my car."

Jim grabbed his wallet and grabbed a handful of Aussie dollars and thrust it into the angry Australian's hand before running off with a limp to the spot where he last saw her. _She's here, she's in Sydney. _He looked but he couldn't see her. He was turning his head so fast he was getting dizzy. "Pam!" he shouted. "Pam!" He was beginning to panic as the sea of faces remained foreign and unfamiliar. He stood on tiptoe and strained his eyes to catch a glimpse of his Pam but the lunchtime crowd was thick with tourists.

_Wait, there she is._

He saw the same curls leaving a shop with a map. He pushed through the crowd until he got to her, his height helping to keep her in sight. _Oh my god, Pam, I love you so much and you're here. _He couldn't stop smiling as he reached her, his heart was pounding through his chest. He took a breath before placing and hand on her shoulder. "Pam."

She turned around.

_Oh._

Jim's heart broke again. He didn't think it could.

"Sorry, um, I think you're looking for someone else." She spoke in a British accent. She didn't resemble Pam in the slightest.

"Yeah, sorry for bothering you." He forced the wortds out and wandered away in a daze. He felt sick. He felt alone. He felt broken.

Again.

He wasn't sure how far he walked or for how long but he kept walking north and reached the beach. He walked through miles of suburbs before finally sighting stretches of golden sands. He walked down onto the beach and just sat, his legs giving way beneath him and his body drained of energy. Without the rhythm of his feet to distract him like white noise he let himself think.

_I'm not ok. I'm not ok. How can something hurt this much and not kill me? _

He looked at his grazed palms, his skin scraped and raw so he could still see the ruffled bits of skin that reminded him of a thousand childhood bike accidents. He hardly felt it despite the throb.

_She's married. She married him, that lazy, pathetic, dream crushing, fat, stupid, drunken, inattentive, selfish, idiot._

He wiped away a stray tear and hung his head, staring at the granules of fine blonde sand between his feet.

_I can't do this. Why'd I come here? It's no different, she'll be Mrs Anderson wherever I am and she'll still say no. Or "I can't" wherever I am. I'm an idiot. God, I was so sure it was her, I let myself believe it because I'm that damn stupid and that damn pathetic. She's been with him almost ten years, there must be something there, she loves... him. She must have been right, I misinterpreted everything. How could she love me? _

He closed his eyes tight and tried to think of something to pull himself out of this spiral so he could stop feeling this way but there wasn't anything to cling to, every thought in his head was darkened by his defeat and loss. He always turned his thoughts on himself.

_How did I let this get this bad? Living my life thinking one thing and saying another day in, day out. All the time I was getting in too deep and telling myself I had it under control. Falling in love when I could have stopped it. _

_I know the moment it happened too as much as I denied it but then no one does self delusion like me. I'd been sick the day before, food poisoning after trying Turkish food from a cart with Mark, he had been pretty sick too. The next day I made it into work and there was a bunch of multicoloured post-it notes stuck to my computer screen. She'd folded the bottom corner of each post-it so they stood out letting me read one at a time. The first one was a message reminding me to change my password by order of corporate; she'd written suggestions like 'Battlestar', 'Conspiracy' or 'Dwightfanclub'. God how I smiled at just that note, made my day._

He was smiling, almost against his will as he let the memory continue to sweetly torture him.

_The next notes told me everything I missed that day._

'_Dwight arrived with a friend this morning, guess who?' I guessed someone from his dojo in my head as Pam wasn't there yet._

'_A duck. (See pictoral evidence)_

_She'd drawn this amazingly detailed picture of a duck on the next post-it with a speech bubble that said "Help me!" I'd seen some of her drawings before when I taken a peek at her notepad during meetings but this was her best yet, I thought that maybe she wanted to show me how good she was, maybe impress me or see if I'd believe in her. I did. I do._

'_Dwight's evil plan is tokill and eat the duck for lunch, I must thwart this plan and save Robert's life. Yes, we've named the duck; he's currently in the break room.'_

_*THINKING* She'd drawn herself as a stick figure scratching her head, I know I was just standing at my desk still, grinning like an idiot. _

'_Operation: Jail Break' was crossed out and she'd tried 'Operation: Free Bird. I figure the mission has its own theme song.' I bought her that song the next day too. _

'_Phyllis was giving Dwight hell so I snuck Robert out under my coat and took him to the park in my car. I think he knew I was helping him because he didn't leave any presents in the car and sat in the passenger seat with less complaining than most people I know. I almost adopted him. Shame, I really liked crispy duck... damn...' She never did eat duck again._

'_Dwight doesn't like me.' She'd drawn this sad face and for moment I thought that she'd been really upset and I hadn't been there to shield her from Dwight. Then I flipped over to the next page._

'_I remembered I don't care!' and she'd drawn a smiling face with balloons, confetti and a cake. _

'_I missed you. Get better soon.' That was the last one. My favourite. The camera's showed up for the first time the following week._

_I still have the notes in my bedside table at home,I should have thrown them out before I left, I am a fool, I know but, it was the moment I knew I loved her. I swear everyone could see it on my face. I told myself I was just letting the crush get to me and I just needed to meet someone available and I'd be over this in a second but that was it, the moment I sank too deep. _

The weak smile that had clung to his mouth lost the battle and faded away.

_I could have left. I should have left. She was the only reason I had to stay. I eventually fooled myself thinking she felt the same, that she'd work it out and that... _

His fists were balled up so tight his fingernails dug into the raw patches of skin from being hit by the car and he finally felt the pain.


	8. Chapter 8

Pam almost ran off the plane and into the San Francisco terminal. There had been summer storms over much of the Midwest states and Pam had spent the last four hours with her fingernails dug into the arm rests while the obese businessman beside her slept peacefully. She didn't hate many people, if any really, but she really hated that businessman.

Pam quickly looked at the screen to find her connecting flight was leaving from the gate just a short walk away. With three hours to kill she bought herself a couple of slices of horrendously over priced pizza and a coke and took a seat at a table. She took comfort in being on solid ground again but while her thoughts on the plane had revolved around what would happen when she found Jim now her thoughts were consumed with what she'd left Roy to face and the fact that the only life she'd known was gone.

The first slice of pizza which had felt so satisfying to eat now felt like it was going to come back up. She swallowed hard and tried to calm herself but the guilt was overwhelming. She'd have to go back, she couldn't do this now. She reached for her phone with shaking hands and called her mom, the person most likely to understand.

Her mom picked up on the first ring.

"Sweetie, where are you? Houston? LA?"

"LA." She half sobbed.

"Oh honey, I know you didn't want to do it like this but a broken engagement is so much better than a divorce." She comforted.

"I left him at the altar, he didn't deserve that and now I'm going to Australia! God, I'm horrible, I'm-I'm... evil!" The tears were coming thick and fast now, the rush of adrenaline that got her this far had dissipated and her conviction was fading.

"Oh you're not evil, there's nothing you could have done here other than keep out of the way, might as well start your new life, you deserve it sweetie. I'm handling everything ok? It's all going to be ok, for Roy too."

"I'm coming back, I can't leave, I need to talk to Roy again, tell him I'm sorry, I need to find a place to live, I need my own car, I'll have to get another job for all the debt." Her words were running into each other as she cried at the table. Passersby stared but Pam didn't notice, lost in her own guilt and the shock of what she'd done.

"Calm down Pam, take a deep breath with me okay, in... and out... in and... out." Pam followed her mom's instructions, her calm and relaxed tone grounding her from her hysteria. "All this we can sort out. Your father and I will put your belongings in storage unit, we won't tell Roy where you are-"

"I'm coming home, I told you, it's not right what I'm doing."

There was a pause as Pam's mom chose her next words.

"Do you love Jim?"

Pam didn't need to think. "Yes, I do."

"Then you need to go make sure he knows. Have you tried calling?"

"Yeah, just before I got on the flight but it went straight to voicemail."

"Go to him darling, I know how happy he makes you and he loves you too, it's time to start doing what you want to do and not what you think other people want believe me, I know that makes no one happy in the end."

"I'll think about it." She conceded, not sold but still wanting to see Jim very much, it had felt like a lifetime since they'd made each other smile. "How's dad? And Roy's parents?"

"I'm dealing with them sweetie." She couldn't hide the weariness in her tone.

"That bad, huh?"

"It's to be expected." Pam's mom didn't lie; it was never going to be easy.

"And Roy?"

"Kenny took him to the cabin."

"Oh. Ok." Pam wasn't sure what to do with this information. "Should I call?"

"Best not. Give him some time."

"I'm so, so sorry mom."

"I know, but I just want you to be happy. You've not been right since that night."

"I know."

"Make things right with Jim honey, I need to know my little girl is happy." Her mom's voice broke at the end sending a quiver to Pam's bottom lip.

"I don't know, I still need to think." The thought of finding a new place to call home and live alone for the first time in her life was making her shake, she just wanted to know how this was going to end, she wanted to feel secure again. She'd never felt this out of control before. "Mom I-"

"I've got to go, your in-laws are here." She cut in quickly, her tone changing to something more urgent.

"Let me talk to them."

"Not a good idea, call me when you get to Sydney, ok?"

"No, I need to say I'm sorry."

"Later, when things have calmed down, gotta go, I love you."

"Love you too mom."

As she listened to her mom hang up she remembered once again she was on the other side of the country on her way to the other side of the world. Even sat amongst hundreds of travellers from all over the world she'd never felt quite so alone. She wondered how Roy was feeling right now.

It felt like a lifetime ago that Roy met her mom for the first time. The star quarterback. She was worried when he appeared unexpectedly at her front door but Roy had been a gentleman for a sixteen year old. He called her mom Mrs Beesly, wiped his feet at the door and stood up straight. Her parents had worried that someone like Roy only wanted one thing but he'd actually been sweet. He'd come over under the pretence of giving Pam a copy of his biology notes when Roy wasn't exactly the brightest spark and Pam had no use for his notes anyway. They went out on their first official date that weekend, the high school football game he left her at. Pam shook her head and forced another bite of pizza. She was just a child back then.

Her childhood was over now. The future that girl dreamt of is long gone and it only took an instant and one card that sat in her handbag. She took it out and looked at the picture on the front again. She could well be sat at her reception if it hadn't been for this. Now she was effectively homeless and hated by everyone with the surname Anderson in the Pennsylvania area. Ten years. Over.

_Oh god, what have I done?_

Before she had time to panic again she remembered the one person she wanted to talk to, the one person who could make her feel right again. Jim. She smiled at his name. She didn't want him to move from one guy to another, but she couldn't leave him thinking that he'd misinterpreted their friendship when she loved him so much. She didn't know when it happened but now she'd let herself feel it she just needed him to know.

She could picture a new future. One she'd had for barely half a day but one that gave her so much hope and strength.

When her connecting flight was called, she got on.


	9. Chapter 9

**Here's an update. My aim is to get this story finished asap, this is my priority over Breathless until it's done. It's going to feel so good to check the completed box on this one. This is a short chapter but the next few will be longer. **

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Jim made it back to his room and collapsed on the bed. He toed off his shoes and socks and let his blistered feet breathe. Everything ached and he just wanted to go home. He just wanted to feel less alone. His cell phone was still useless so he reached over for the hotel phone and dialled.

"Hello?"

"It's Jim."

"Hey bro! How's Australia?" Came the overly cheerful voice of his older brother Tom. "Banged a Sheila?" Jim regretted his choice immediately. His mom would have been a better choice. Hell, Michael or Dwight would have been a better choice.

"Tom, I need you to be less of an idiot right now." He tried for terse but he sounded more desperate than anything.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't do this, I thought she was here." His voice caught at the end but he didn't think his brother noticed. He closed his eyes tight and tried not to lose it.

"Pam?"

"Yeah."

"What happened?" Tom actually did sound serious, that frightened Jim a bit but he needed it.

"I thought I saw her, I got hit by a car-"

"Oh my god, are you in hospital?"

"No, no, no, I just got some scrapes and bruises. I went up to this random woman who didn't even look like her in the end. I feel like I'm losing it man, I don't know what to do."

"Oh man, I don't know what to say, I'm not good at this kinda thing."

"I know, I just figured you'd be up and you're less of an ass than Pete and Larissa is in Mexico."

"I'm flattered." He responded dryly. "You'll get through this, I mean, you've been in love before and had it not work out."

There was a long silence.

"You were with Jess for over a year in college, didn't you love her?"

"Ugh." He rubbed his head. "I wasn't with her for a year. When I came home one thanksgiving I was with Jess Inglewood and then the next Thanksgiving I was with Jess Parker, I didn't  
get passed the three month mark with either of them. When I said I was with Jess mom assumed it was the same girl and she was so excited, she told me she had nightmares about me dying alone."

"That sounds like mom; she wanted me to propose to crazy Lily after six dates so she wouldn't have to worry if anything happened to her. Emotional blackmail expert."

"Yeah, I had to convince her I had a return ticket in case I didn't come home."

"So Pam's the first girl you've been in love with?" Jim could hear the discomfort in his tone but he really needed to talk.

"Yep."

"You're not, like, still a virgin are you?"

"Jesus, Tom!"

"Ok, ok, less idiot, more supportive. Why'd you have to call me?" He groaned.

"I really don't know." Jim sighed.

"Well, what have you been up to, you can't just waste your time out there."

"I've been exploring, met a girl named Sarah-"

"Whoooo, so you have found a Sheila!" He hollered down the phone.

"Trust me, I'm not her type, she's gonna show me round the Opera House tomorrow, she works there so it'll be a behind the scenes thing."

"Bro, that sounds amazing. The world keeps turning, man. Tomorrow is another day." Jim was hoping for more than platitudes but at least he was a familiar voice.

"Well today sucked. I just, I don't know how to get past this." He wasn't sure if he could get past this.

"Is Sarah hot?"

Jim resisted the urge to hang up even though he couldn't think of a single reason why he shouldn't.

"You're married with kids."

"So? You've gotta live while you're young, you're in Australia, you're not tied down, you're free to do as you please. Enjoy this experience while you can. Don't regret anything."

"I know, I just feel so lost."

"Go out tomorrow with Sarah, have a great time, that's a once in a lifetime opportunity and maybe you'll make a new friend."

"I guess, she's great to talk to and I guess I'll only be here once." He reasoned, maybe if he just kept moving and doing things it would get easier. Less time to think. Keep busy.

"That's the spirit! And maybe she'll even give you a pity roll in the hay."

"And you were doing so well for a moment there." Jim rubbed at his temples. "I've gotta go, this is costing me a fortune."

"Ok bro, I won't mention this to mom."

"Appreciate that."

"Keep your chin up, time heals all wounds."

If he didn't die from infection before then, he thought sadly. He figured he shouldn't share that particular thought with his brother.

"Yeah, I'll call you when I'm home."

"I'd feel better about that if you didn't sound so miserable."

"I'll be ok, I'm going to go out again and enjoy being here. Maybe I'll give Sarah a call, see if she wants dinner or I'll go to a sports bar or something."

"Good man, speak to you soon, Bro."

"Bye Tom."

Jim hung up and leapt off the bed before the silence had the chance to hit him. One thing Tom said had made sense, he shouldn't regret not making the most of this trip. He would never  
regret telling Pam how he felt even if the outcome crushed him, it would be so much worse if she never knew. He'd never regret kissing her because it would be the only real kiss they'd ever have. He didn't really expect it to turn out this badly but the regret would have tortured him. It would be another few hours before Sarah finished work, enough time to book the bridge walk. No regrets.

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**Pam's flight touches down next chapter. Finally!**


	10. Chapter 10

**As my pennance for not updating, a second chapter uploaded today. Seriously, I'm finishing this story! I promise I'm speed writing! I forgot in the last chapter to thank every one who has reviewed and even messaged my encouraging me to keep this up, it was the kick up the bum I needed. Enjoy, another update tomorrow.**

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It was cooler than she imagined it would be for Australia but with the seasons reversed in the southern hemisphere she should have guessed. It was early, about 7am, but Pam hadn't really slept and felt like she'd been up for twenty-four hours already. It could have been any time. She needed sleep almost as much as she needed to see Jim. She was so close now; she was in the same city. The thought of his smile sustained her.

Streams of taxis were waiting outside the airport. She'd managed to change some money into Australian dollars when she landed, hopefully enough for a taxi and a room for at least a night. She approached the first guy she saw, he looked a little like the guy from Crocodile Dundee which she had to tell Jim later, he'd get a kick out of that. He was even wearing one of those khaki vests with loads of pockets.

"Taxi darlin'?" He drawled, his voice naturally gravelly.

"Yes, I need to get to this hotel in Sydney." She handed him the piece of paper Alex had written for her over a day ago.

"I know it. Shouldn't take long when you're with me." He flashed her a smile intended to seal the deal, she'd seen the salesmen at the office flash that grin before, even over the phone.

"How much?"

"$50 should do it."

Pam had no idea whether that was a good or bad deal but she only had one concern now she'd touched down in Oz and that was to get to Jim. She agreed to the price and got inside. She opened her phone to try and call her mom but she wasn't getting any service. Figures, she thought, she was on another continent.

Despite her exhaustion she couldn't help but take in the sights, hoping to see a kangaroo or something typically Australian. Her knees bounced with nervous anticipation. She was almost there, so, so close.

"Business or pleasure?"

"Pleasure, hopefully."

"Hopefully?"

"Depends if he still loves me."

"Ah! Fallen for some Australian charm?" He laughed and took both his hands off the steering wheel to rub his hands together. He put his hands back again before Pam said anything, her  
heart had raced enough today. She carried on the conversation regardless.

"Not quite, he's American too; he came here so he didn't have to see me get married." Pam had no idea why she was sharing so much but she'd been alone with her own thoughts on the flight for so long it felt good to share.

"I take it you didn't?"

"No, I just hope I'm not too late."

"So you love this fella?"

"Yes, I do. He loves me too but I... turned him down. I shouldn't have, it just took me by surprise, I never really considered us before, not deeply. But I do love him."

"Never too late for love." Pam hit the inside of the door with a thud as he swerved round traffic. "Sorry darlin', tourists on the damn roads and I've gotta get you to ya fella."

"Thanks."

"So you've come all the way from America to tell him? Was he not coming back?"

"It just couldn't wait. I... I just need him to know and need to see him. I got a sign."

"Like from God? Are you one of those religious types?"

"No, it was a card. All I know is that I've got to see him and just hope he hasn't left for his next destination early."

"I'm sure he'll be there drowning his sorrows just waiting for ya."

"I hope so, well, I hope he's not suffering but I hope he'll be pleased to see me." She laughed nervously. She had no idea how Jim would react to her sudden arrival but she thought it  
would be positive.

They passed the rest of the time chatting about Jim. Pam told the cabbie about their pranks and their job. It took just under an hour to work their way through the start of rush hour traffic. Pam couldn't believe she was really in Sydney; it was an amazing city, just glorious.

"So here we are, that'll be $48.00." She handed him the money. "Good luck darlin', hope you get your fella!"

"I'll try!" Pam got out with her bag over her shoulder. Jim could well be in this building having breakfast or maybe still sleeping. She worried for a second that maybe he wasn't sleeping alone but Jim was never that kinda guy, she knew him too well.

She took a deep breath to settle her racing heart and head inside. The hotel was lovely, clean and bright. She approached reception which was manned by a gorgeous smiling woman. Pam wondered if all the women here looked that stunning, she'd been travelling for a day and looked a wreck, especially since her styled wedding hair had completely fallen apart. She'd definitely need a shower and a change of clothes before finding Jim. Sleep could wait though.

"How can I help you ma'am?"

"I need a room for the night." She could always get an extra night if she needed it.

"Of course, we have a double available for $205."

"Sounds good."

The receptionist took all her details and handed Pam a key. "Could you also tell me which room Jim Halpert is staying in? He's a friend."

"I'm afraid I can't release that to you."

"Oh it's ok, he's my best friend." And I'm here to tell him I love him so don't make me hurt you! She added in her mind.

"I'm sorry Ms Beesly, he has a restricted information flag."

"Damn." She knew why, he didn't want the Aussie camera crew finding out where he was staying. "Ok, thank you." She considered leaving him a note but she needed to see him face to face, that's why she'd come this far.

Some sleep and a shower wouldn't hurt before she haunted the lobby looking for Jim. He'd have to leave or come back eventually, even if it took hours, she'd wait.

Pam took the elevator to the fourth floor and found her door. It took her a few attempts to open it, fatigue was setting in and the bag on her shoulder felt like a stone weight dragging her  
to the floor where she'd happily sleep. One last effort and the door opened.

She set one foot inside when she heard and all too familiar and precious voice. Jim. She stared down the corridor but it was empty. That was until Jim stepped out a room two door down from hers. There he was. She opened her mouth to speak but she couldn't. He wasn't alone. A woman with long raven coloured hair in a braid down her back left the room with him. She was dragging him towards the elevator and giggling. She watched in disbelief as they disappeared from sight.

Pam hid herself in her room and cried on the unfamiliar bed until sleep finally claimed her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Yes! Another chapter folks! Read on! **

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"No way American boy, you owe me big time, huge, massive, extraordinarily big time." Sarah complained and gestured wildly as they walked down the front path of the hotel in the nippy evening air.

"It wasn't _that_ high."

"A ladder is _that_ high! This was a near death experience."

"You loved it, I saw you smiling at the top."

Sarah pulled out her commemorative photo and thrust it into Jim's face. "Do I look like I'm smiling, mate?" Jim had the same photo with him too; he and Sarah were stood on top of Sydney Harbour Bridge in hideous grey jumpsuits and safety harnesses. Jim was grinning while Sarah had a death grip around his waist and her braid was blowing in the high wind. She was not smiling. More like grimacing.

"Ok, ok, but at least you've done that, no regrets."

She smiled as she remembered why she'd done something that scared her so much. "No regrets."

It had become their motto. After meeting for a barbeque dinner last night Jim had talked about his phone call with his brother and how, amongst the generally idiotic nonsense he spouted on a daily basis, he'd said something meaningful. A few beers later and Jim had talked Sarah into joining him on the bridge during her lunch break, all in the spirit of embracing life and living it to the full.

"So dinner later?" She proposed.

"Sounds great, I thought that maybe we could hit a bar or two after." Jim opened the door for her; she always looked at him like he was doing something foreign each time.

"Oooh, karaoke!"

"Nuh-uh, I don't sing." He wasn't going to budge.

"Come on, I climbed a flippin' bridge for you, no regrets, remember?" She tried the guilt routine but Jim couldn't give in.

"I'm sure everyone would regret it if I sang."

"We could duet!"

"Seriously, I'm terrible."

"It'll be wicked, if just to watch the Japanese tourists, they are hilarious fun."

"Fine, I'll go just to watch and maybe I'll buy you some of that blue lava drink." Her eyes lit up. "Shall I meet you at Harry's in an hour?" They already had a regular haunt, Jim was  
beginning to feel at home here.

"Uh..." Sarah had gone pale and her eyes so very hurt.

"Are you ok, Sare?"

"That's, that's Jen, over at reception." He recognised the name of Sarah's ex immediately. A petite woman stood at reception. From behind she reminded him of Pam, but so was every woman with curly copper hair. He'd seen Pam four times already that day, his mind nor his heart could let her go.

"Would she know to find you here?"

"She doesn't know where I live now; she'd be here for my sister if she wanted to find me."

"What do you wanna do?"

"I, I, I don't know, oh no, she'll have a bump and everything. I can't see that." She was almost in tears. She moved them behind some potted plants where they'd be concealed if she turned around. "What could she want?" Sarah was panicked.

"Do you want to know?"

"I really don't know, I just never thought she'd come find me, the last time I saw her to talk to she told me she was pregnant. Oh god, why is she here?"

"It'll be ok."

"Damn her, I was doing so well, I went at least an hour today without thinking about her." She buried her head in Jim's chest and Jim naturally wrapped his arms around her. "I need to  
talk to her."

"Do you want me to wait here? I can be moral support from afar."

"I'm tempted on introducing you as my boyfriend but I've never been a liar and I won't start now. If I go over there now I'll be in control, well, as much as I can be when my heart is shattered into a million pieces." It was clear she was still so hurt and Jim held her and whispered soothing words of comfort.

The curly haired ex-girlfriend was still at reception, she seemed to be signing something or writing something.

"Ok, I'm going to go. You head up stairs; I'll come up if I need you. I've still got to give my sister a lift home."

"You sure? I can hang out."

"Nah, it'll be like having an audience."

"Ok Sarah, but I'm here for you ok?" They'd only known each other a few days but he considered her a close friend. He was closer to her than anyone at work. That is if he discounted Pam.

"I know." She smiled softly through the anxiety written on her face. "Do I look ok?" She was still in her formal work uniform but looked well put together.

"Gorgeous." He tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear. Apart from slightly red eyes she did look gracefully beautiful.

Sarah nodded firmly but Jim recognised someone hanging by an emotional thread, he'd seen it all too often in the mirror. He did as she asked and left, not before taking one last glance over his shoulder. She really did look like Pam. They must have the same taste in women.


	12. Chapter 12

**Double upload today, I've got some promises to keep...**

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Pam had no idea how long she'd been sleeping. Her head pounded, her eyes were sore and her mouth and throat felt like it was coated in sludge. The worst pain was in her heart. He was with someone. A tall, slim beautiful woman. She probably surfed, scuba dived and led this sundrenched Aussie lifestyle, she thought with venom. She probably had this really amazing job and Jim would stay here with her forever in Sydney. She curled into herself for the smallest amount of comfort it could give. Had she'd hurt him that much that he'd go to the first woman he saw or did he really not care about her as much as she thought? Wasn't him leaving for this godforsaken country a big indicator that he was crazy about her? As much as she was about him?

The tears came again.

After she'd pulled herself together she found a hotel clock; she'd been sleeping for about twelve hours and she still hadn't changed. It was time for a shower, a change of clothes and then she'd leave. She wasn't sure where to go. She'd be humiliated if she went home. She'd left Roy, disappointed everyone including her father and for what? To see Jim and his holiday romance enjoying a lovely day which probably followed a lovely night. Humiliating.

She couldn't break down again; she needed to get the stink of travel and heartbreak off her skin. She peeled off her clothes she'd been wearing since she'd left her house and left them in a pile on the floor. She'd been so sure about her decision when she'd picked out those clothes. She'd left one future with Roy for a future with Jim only to find that wouldn't work either. "I'm so stupid." She muttered to herself. "What the hell am I doing here?"

She stepped into the bathtub carefully, feeling a little unsteady, she hadn't eaten that much apart from airplane food in the last day and her blood sugar was low. Fortunately, the heat of the shower was soothing. She could have happily slept another twelve hours in the steam of the bathroom, like a blanket shielding herself from the reality of where she was and what she'd done.

She considered seeing him, at least to say a proper goodbye before he left for Stamford. All she could muster was a tearful look as he left on his last day, pleading with her eyes for him to stay and for everything to be undone. It was too much to ask of him. He could only look back at her, almost giving her one last chance to tell him to stay, to tell him to be with her. She said nothing.

The shower was becoming counterproductive and she still had no plan. She couldn't go home and face everyone yet. She decided to find another hotel, Jim would be leaving this one in a few days and she'd have the city to herself while she figured out what to do with the rest of her life. For the first time she was alone. Maybe she should use this time to think.

She got out the shower and put on some fresh clothes. She'd never really appreciated the feel of clean underwear before, she felt fresher and happier already. She put on a pair of jeans and a yellow long sleeve sweater to keep out the evening chill and packed what little she'd bothered to get out of her bag. She shoved the card she'd wept over last night in the bag too. She could have left it behind but she didn't want to let it go yet.

She checked her appearance. She didn't look special but she didn't need to. She'd brushed her hair but hadn't bothered with make-up or skin care, she didn't see the point. Before leaving her room she rang her mom and left a message to tell her she'd arrived safe and sound but she didn't mention Jim, she wasn't ready yet.

She peeked out her door carefully, she didn't want to accidently run into Jim, she knew she couldn't hold it together and sobbing at his feet would be beyond insane at this point. She took the stairs rather than the elevator and made her way into the main foyer and reception.

A different but equally stunning receptionist greeted her in Australian tones. Pam couldn't wait to get out of there.

"I'll like to check out." She said glumly and handed over her key. The receptionist obliged and took her through the process. It took ages, form after form and a questionnaire on her stay. Pam was tempted to write 'It sucked' but she was too polite.

"Ok ma'am, if you could just sign here and here and I'll need your credit card."

Pam duly signed and handed over her card when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Her stomach sank to the floor. It could only be one person. She couldn't turn, she was rooted to the spot, she just couldn't see those green eyes without breaking down.

"Jen?" Came a female voice from behind her. Pam turned grateful it wasn't Jim but her stomach soon sank again when she recognised the woman stood in front of her. It was Jim's new girlfriend. "Oh, oh no. Uh, sorry, I, uh, thought I uh, knew you..." Pam saw the beautiful woman's eyes fill with tears.

The receptionist spoke again to get her attention, "Miss Beesly?"

"Beesly?" Said Jim's hideously gorgeous girlfriend. "Pam Beesly?"

Oh this couldn't be worse. Jim must have told her about what had happened; Pam turned and grabbed her card, speaking only to the receptionist. She needed to get out of here fast. "Are we done here?"

"Yes, enjoy the rest of your holiday, ma'am."

"Thanks." Pam scooped up her bag and barged past Jim's Australian lover, she couldn't look at her a second longer, even with those pitiful tears she hanging on her lusciously long eyelashes.

"Wait! Pam! You didn't marry him!" She chased after her.

Pam ignored her and kept walking. She had no idea why she sounded so happy; shouldn't she be worried that she was going to steal her new boyfriend?

"Slow down, why are you leaving? I can take you to Jim, I'm his friend."

"I know he's your "friend"!" She snapped angrily. "I saw you leaving his room this morning!"

"Oh god, we're not together, I'm gay. I was taking him to the Opera House." She pulled out an ID card she had on a chain under her clothes. "See?"

"You're not his girlfriend?" Pam's heart was racing once again and her breathing was getting so fast she felt like she was hyper ventilating.

"He's a lovely guy but you're more my type than he is, I thought you were my ex-girlfriend, that's why I called you Jen." The young woman's face fell. "My name is Sarah."

"You're his friend?"

"I am, I met him when he was drowning his sorrows because the love of his life was getting married."

"Love of his life?"

"I'm paraphrasing but... wow, you're here, he's going to flip!"

"Do you think he'd mind me being here? He's not mad at me for everything?"

"Of course not, you'll make him the happiest man alive, come on, he's in his room. You've got to see him."

"I look a mess, I-I can't see him now."

"You look fantastic, really, all he wants is you so don't delay another second!" The girl she now knew as Sarah grabbed her arm and dragged her back towards the elevator.

"Oh god, this is really happening again, I'd given up." Her hands were trembling and she felt a little dizzy, she really should have eaten something from the mini-bar. Sarah pressed the  
button for the fourth floor.

"Sorry I gave you the wrong idea but at least you didn't leave, that would have been more awful than I could imagine. I can't believe you're here!" Sarah was grinning at her like a long lost friend. A few minutes ago Pam hated the very marrow in her bones.

"Me neither." The doors to the elevator opened and Pam could see his door. "This is it."

"Come on; don't keep him waiting longer than he already has!"

"Thanks Sarah." She smiled as sweetly as she could but she was too nervous. Sarah didn't move, watching to make sure Pam made it inside.

Pam took five steps and found herself in front of Jim's door. He was right behind it. Single and hopefully still in love with her. She adjusted the heavy bag on her shoulder and lifted a shaking fist and tried to knock. It took a few tries to will her hand to move but it did, she knocked weakly twice. Her throat felt tight, she wasn't sure if she could speak when he finally came to the door. She could hear heavy footsteps approaching quickly.

Within seconds of her knocking the door opened.


	13. Chapter 13

Jim should have been showering and changing before dinner but he didn't want to risk missing a knock at the door should Sarah need him. He couldn't imagine how painful it would be to see someone you love happy and pregnant with someone else's child. He was moving to Stamford so he'd never have to see Pam with Roy's child, it had to happen eventually and he sure as hell wasn't going to watch.

After ten minutes he considered checking downstairs to see if they were talking and how Sarah was coping. He paced a little, he couldn't interrupt, Sarah had asked him to go to his room so he'd stay. His heart leapt when he heard a faint knock at the door. He rushed over and swung the door open expecting to see a distraught Sarah on the other side.

Jim stopped breathing. There was no mistaking who it was this time.

"Pam?"

"Hi." It was the first word that popped into her head. She'd start at hi and work her way from there. It felt like a lifetime since she last saw him but he hadn't changed at all, even the bags under his eyes that had appeared a few weeks ago were still there.

"Hi." He replied, not sure what to say and whether it was ok to be happy to see her.

"I didn't marry him."

It was all he needed to hear. The stepped towards her and crashed his lips on hers, it was ungraceful but full of need. Her bag fell to the floor with a thud. They stumbled back a step before Jim steadied his love by drawing her close. They kissed like they were making up for lost time, eager and possessive. Pam was holding on for dear life, she'd travelled half the globe to be right where she was. Her lips moved desperately against his, finally she felt like she had found where she'd belonged. They broke away for breath but nothing was said. Jim took her hand and her bag and led her into his room, not noticing Sarah slink away into the elevator with a smile.

As soon as the door closed their mouths found each other again. Pam stepped back so she was braced between the wall and Jim's body, his body touching the whole length of her just like she needed, she needed to feel him. She let her hands explore everywhere they could reach, his hair, his strong back, down his sides all the while exploring his taste for the first time. Their kiss had been far too fleeting before, only a hint of what could have been.

Jim's kisses strayed down her jaw line and to the sensitive skin of her neck. "I'm sorry." She murmured with a slight crack in her voice.

He barely stopped his soft kisses and nuzzling to ask her why.

"For taking so long. Jim..." As much as she was savouring his touch she guided his face back to hers so she could see his eyes. It's like they'd come back to life again, her old happy Jim, not the broken one she felt like she'd created. Jim gazed back, still keeping her somewhat pinned against the wall, he wasn't going to let her go. "I love you, I'm so in love with you." She needed him to hear it, as much as it was assumed by her sudden appearance, the brilliant smile on his face was just as good as kissing him had been. She almost giggled with happiness.

He sweetly kissed her forehead, it was such a loving gesture that she sighed at the touch. "So I guess some stuff happened after I left?" He stroked her face, it was reassurance she was really here and he hadn't had some sort of mental break. Even if he had, it was pretty damn nice so he was sticking with insanity for now.

"You could say that." She kissed him again, soft and slow, the pace seemingly slowed now the first desperate rush of seeing each other had passed. "I can't believe I'm here."

"Me neither, not that I haven't been imagining you running to a plane and coming here, I didn't actually think that would really happen, I'm still not sure you're not a hallucination."

She pinched him hard on the chest, just missing a nipple.

"Oww! Yeah, you're real and a little mean!"

"I'll be gentler next time." Her smile came so easy now; the longest day of her life was over.

"So... we could stay standing against this wall and make out some more or you could tell me what happened followed by some more making out? I'm happy as long as you're here and I get to kiss you, imaginary or real."

Hearing Jim joke and look so joyfully happy only made how much she'd missed him over the last month more acute. She'd missed the very essence of who he was. She drew him to her for  
one more kiss.

"Let's sit."

The only place to sit comfortably and still be close was his freshly made bed. They both climbed on top of the covers and sat upright against the headboard side by side.

"So why exactly am I lucky enough to have you here?" He laced his hand with hers and she squeezed tight.

"I got a card. I have it with me." She climbed off the bed and grabbed the battered looking envelope. She hadn't treated it with care since last night. She got back in place and handed it to him. "Marcia gave me this after my interview; she told me someone from Dunder Mifflin wanted her to give this to me. I was in my dress and everything; I was due to leave for the church."

Jim looked at her and opened his mouth to speak but no words materialised. The look of shock said it all; he hadn't expected her decision to have come so late. He still stared at her, the envelope lying benignly in his hands.

"This card changed everything for me."

Jim looked back down at the envelope; her name was hand written on the front, it's wasn't handwriting he was familiar with. He carefully pulled the card out and assessed the picture of a bride and groom on the front, he wasn't sure what he was supposed to be looking for. "Read it." Said Pam.

Jim opened the card and read aloud. "To Pamela and Roy. Sorry we could not attend your special day but we wish you all the luck and happiness for many years to come. Best wishes, David and Rachel Wallace." Jim turned the card over to look at the back but there was nothing else. Jim was more than confused. "I don't get it."

"I thought it was you." She bit her lip as she remembered that moment. "When Marcia said it was from someone at Dunder Mifflin I just _knew_ it was you, that I'd open the card and you'd tell me where to meet you and give me another chance, that it wasn't over. That you'd... save me." It felt idiotic to phrase it like that but at the time, it was how she felt at the time. Jim stayed silent, still waiting for more explanation. "When it wasn't you I was just devastated, it was just the most awful thing. That's when it hit me; I couldn't go through with it. I knew then that I loved you. That I wanted to be with you." She held his hand again and placed a kiss on the top of it. "I couldn't expect you to turn up; I had to do it myself. I had to save myself, I guess." She shrugged at the cheesiness of her words and smiled wryly.

Jim took her cheek in his palm and kissed her chastely but he was trying to imprint this memory into his mind. It may never have happened if it hadn't been for one innocuous note. "I think I owe David some unpaid overtime."

They relaxed lay down a little on the bed holding each other. Pam rested her head on Jim's chest with her hand laced with his resting on his belly. Jim had his arm wrapped around her and enjoyed this blissful moment of peace. She was here, she came.

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**So the contents of the card were finally revealed, I hope it hit the mark. **

**Thanks everyone who has reviewed so far, such a cool thing for all of you to take the time to do, especially when I've made you wait for this!**


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